Not long ago in a place called Snoogens lived a gnarly old dude named Joel Dudeson. One night as Joel Dudesom was reading a book about knights and other heroic things, he wished that he was a knight, but also wished he had a Maxim magazine, anyways he thought of being a knight so he got up from his chair (that's for old people) and grabbed a sword pretending to be a knight. There were two chicks named Deanna, the other named Tara. They heard a noise so they went to check it out, but as they saw what it was, it was just a crazy old man with a sword. Deanna thought to herself, "What is this crazy old foo up to?" And Tara "mmmmm... look at that sexy trying to be a knight!"
The next day Joel Dudeson went into his shaggin shed and put on some armor and grabbed some weapons, jumped on his horse, and rode off to see the lady of his drams. To win her heart he must defeat another dude to win his ladies heart fair and square.