Last night I had the privilege of driving about twenty minutes away from my "house" to pick up some neat young people, and on the way back I realized how much I really missed driving. Not the whole city-driving, with all the traffic lights, building lights, and house lights, but driving over 75mph through the desert in the dark with stars exploding around me. Well, maybe not even that, but just driving long distances to drive, usually with a far-off destination. For example, driving for at least forty minutes to get to chuch... I miss that. I miss the time God gave me to reflect before church while careening down the road at 75 miles per hour (or 30something in the snow)... Sometimes I'd go the whole way without music, just praying or making up my own songs, and who cares really, because out west everyone's nuts, so why not??
Anyways, I miss that. I miss being ABLE to drive forever to get somewhere. I miss the lack of civilization and the dust and the smell of sage. I totally miss my crazy students. But I know one thing.... I would never trade where I am right now to go back to Sanders unless He could use me more there than He can here. Maybe someday, who knows. But for now, I am here. I am in Grand Rapids, a city far from the desert and the stars, but surrounded by people that love me. Surrounded, also, by new experiences and new opportunities and new friends. Reminded daily how much I have been blessed, as I remember the Rez and its poverty and big-hearted Navajo children. I am where I am because the one who said "I, even I" has led me here.
i can only follow, as much as he fills my lungs with the right amount of oxygen and pushes my muscles together and apart to move me where He can use me.
So whether I am driving in the city or in the dark skydome of the night, I know that He has been my guide and my pillar of light and strength, and whom shall I fear? Hope, my soul, in God!