swine flu on a paper plate. with paint!

today Shane went about school with a dust-mask on.

he wore it while playing hackysack in the halls, while painting paper plates and working on his poster, and heaven knows where else. (and i thought I was the one who just traveled to mexico?!)

silly child.

and sam and a few others ate paint. they spat it out quickly, luckily, but for a few minutes they had blackened teeth...

silly childrens.



it is things like this that make my day what it is. unforgettable, and unique, and precious. i am going to miss these crazy-go-nuts teenagers that have (at least some of them) been forced into early adulthood.

i am going to miss their snide remarks and "racist" comments (well, calling me racist when I assign homework, etc.), and the easy way of communication we've developed.

julius keeps trying to ask me out. hopefully just as a joke, hahaha. ...
i am maybe not going to miss that, but it's still part of my valley high school experience.

a few of these young whippersnappers have taken up residence in my room during the lunch hour to watch movies and hang out... i spent all year wishing they would, and now, with 18 days left of school, they've begun.

hmmm. tomorrow (and thursday) is Parent . Teacher . conferences (PTC). I am having my chillen make posters with labels in spanish; they are also painting paper plates to hang on the wall. :-D

good times.

it is time for bed, for i am sleepy, albeit incredibly busy.


and yesterday the juniper (or jack?) pines gave me a terrible allergical headache.
i don't think i will miss that much at all. :-p

jesus woodlaaji sin (the name of the navajo hymnal!)

I went on my first "real" women's retreat this weekend. (I usually only go with mixed genders).

It was pretty neat, aaand I got to sing in Navajo. Not that I knew what I was singing, mind you, but it was quite the experience. Especially Saturday morning, when ladies kept going up to the front and suggesting songs (in response to the song leader's "does anyone have any special music?" The ladies would go up to the podium and say something like "my grandma likes this song," or "I have been blessed by something or other," or - the neatest was this grandma who went up there and talked in navajo for 5 minutes about something and you could read in her face the goodness of God.

so here are a few links to some videos of songs we sang.

it was neat. Friday was hard because I kept thinking about Sam and the things she's been doing; but... she's been texting me from other peoples' phones, so at least I know she has a "line open." if that makes sense. At least I can be an ear...

Abba, use me.

in front of a boy that is not

i cried in front of a boy tonight. well, not really "in front." more like, "to side of," but still there it is - I cried in front of a boy.

No, I take that back. I cried in front of a man. Because a boy wouldn't have said "why don't we pray right now?!" this man said exactly that, and then proceeded to pray.

My heart's been heavy the past few days, and more so today because I found out one of my students tried to commit suicide (along with all the other heavy things going on at home / school). So when Rachel invited me along to visit Kit Carson's Cave (slash really amazing bushwacking/climbing) I said sure... but my heart wasn't really into it. We got there and climbed up into the cave (it was pretty steep) and checked out the graffiti and the spring trickling out of the wall, and the secretive hole-in-the-back-of-the-cave full of rubbish and dank things. After sliding down to the cave entrance again, Jeff made us climb this crazy rock face to get over the cave's rooftop, and i think i'm too short or something, because i had to use his hand-shelf to reach the first rock-shelf. lame. And then I almost got stuck towards the top but I figured out how to extract myself from the twisty tunnel-like crevice I'd gotten into. Then it was onward and upward - much like ND - in Theodore Roosevelt National Park (a little on the taller side, though, so maybe think the North Unit) through trees, over rocks that weren't always firmly wedged into the ground, and over lots and lots of sand.

and then at the top was a sweet little mesa and we spread out and pondered for a good amount of time, and then I told Jeff and Rachel about my student and we prayed and then it was almost dark so we scampered down the mountain and made it back to Jeff's car. And on the road out was a dead dog that hopefully we did not hit.

And also we took the Superman Canyon Road that apparently was part of the Christopher Reeves movie version of Superman where Lois Lane is driving a car through a rockslide (or something. that is another one of the 19 million movies I have yet to see...) and almost hit a few horses in the road. haha. it was a realllly pretty route, though. Jeff just kinda "took it" and didn't tell us where he was going, so it was fun. He's one of those people that always has a neat factoid about whatever is going on around you, but he "shares" those facts in a non-threatening way, so you feel like you're learning something from him.

then we went to Applebee's and ate food and drank stuff. I had a diet pepsi with grenadine - my receipt said "Cherry Soda." apparently they are just plain silly there.

and i drove home. and now I am really sleepy from hiking and three days of sunburn.
and 23 days left of school, but tomorrow is only basically 2/3 of a day or less, because we are going to spend 3 hours outside cleaning and watching the fire department burn our tumbleweeds and other various burnable garbage.
it will be spectacular. for the students. As for those teachers that are there to try to teach students something, the day is already shot.
heh!

and thank you, Jeff (even though you'll probably never read this) for being a man. Sure, I said "you're the man," and that can mean at least those two things we talked about, but this time it means "you're the man." And that, my friend, is a compliment.

let me leave you with a poem i wrote a few years ago - to remind you to pray for my student...
(and part of / following that a poem contemplating my own life in comparison to Christ's)





wishing for boldness
i wish i could tell you
what you need so much to hear
(not just need, but deserve)
i need to be real with you
and not just you but all the others
too
i want Him to hold you
in the mighty palm of His hand
next to me
i want to have slumber parties forever with you
talking about mercy and grace and forgiveness
and the depths of His love
i want to know where you will be
where you will be
is it alright that i let it get this way?
why am i so scared,
so unbrave,
so much to blame?
i ramble too much when i talk,
will you understand?
Papa God, use my lips,
my words,
twist them so your words spill from me
into her ears, his ears, their hearts.

my heart hurts,
my spirit aches,
my soul groans inside
when i think of the things –
all those terrible things -
you went through
to bring me home.

The tears cannot fall,
my eyes cannot cry,
my silent heart grows dim
to think of the one who loved me so
the one you rejected
you couldna looked at Him.

Thank you for all the terrible things,
the horrible, and the absurd.
Thank you with all of the thanks that i know,
and make me e’er grateful, dear Lord.

The tears fall,
my eyes water,
my silent eyes mist over,
my heart trembles to think of the pain
the hurt
the anguish
all those horrible nouns
the terror caused by the others,
the ones who wanted you to leave,
those who made you cry.
They make me cry, too.
I’m crying for you;

once my heart stops weeping,
stops sobbing,
stops tearing itself to shreds,
i can feel your arms around me,
and the pain flees.
I am no longer able to cry;
you have taken all the tears -
those terrible, stinking tears
tears of no relief -
and thrown them away in the wind.
The salt water landed in a field of sunflowers
and my eyes and yours glanced upon it.
All that yellow made both our eyes mist over again,
this time for sheer joy.
Joy of living,
joy of being,
joy of seeing.
Yellow and brown, so natural
so free,
so vibrant and living.
What you have done for me.
All because those tears,
tears borrowed forever from me.

24

There are 24 days left of school. Big grin and sad face at the same time.

Vashti the ....queen

(from the book of Esther)

Now it came to pass in the days of Ahasuerus ... in the third year of his reign, he made a feast unto all his princes and his servants; the power of the Persia and Media, the nobles and princes of the provinces, being before him: When he showed the riches of his glorious kingdom and the honor of his excellent majesty many days, even an hundred and fourscore days. ...

Also Vashti the queen made a feast for the women in the royal house which belonged to king Ahasuerus.


...And after King Ahas was totally smashed, he thought he'd show everyone his pretty little wife; unfortunately for everyone involved, Vashti dissed the king and stayed at her own party. I mean feast...

stupid insurance. and why not to get the "best plan ever." because it's,... not.

Well, my taxes are in the mail.

I went to the dentist for a wisdom teeth consultation today and it looks like the insurance plan I thought was so awesome (as in the oral surgery would be covered 100%) is crap. Apparently the plan i selected -under "medical" only works on impacted (all the way, i guess) wisdom teeth and the rest is under dental. So i have not enough left if I get all four taken out (one is partial bony impacted, but apparently that doesnt even count). ... So am I just wasting my money paying insurance? :-/ I have no idea what I'm doing. So I'll have to pay out-of-pocket a little over 500 dollars, and that's after "using up" the rest of my dental insurance. which i was hoping to use for my crown to cover my stupid root canal which used up most of my insurance to begin with.

and the oral surgeon's secretary was telling me it will take 2-3 weeks for them to talk to the insurance people (or $500 from me) before they can schedule me.
which is Park backwards, because, well frankly,... I don't have the time. My tooth needs to be covered, and my dentist said I need my wisdom teeth out first because the one that needs a crown is realllly close to the one that needs to be taken out.
Anyways, Dr. Rogel (the oral surgeon) commented that i must be one of the lucky few that hadn't needed braces. :) Dr. Vonk (my denstist from back in the day) used to ask me all the time if I'd worn braces. :-D hurrah.
So that is why I need my wisdom teeth out - they are messing up the rest of my smile. :( boo.
stupid insurance. Next time, i am doing my own dental work.

Learning - about or from?

Is it enough to be "learning about God?" Or, in the case of "Abide in Christ" (Andrew Murray), ought we to be learning from God?

"You did well to come; you do better to abide. Who would, after seeking the King's palace, be content to stand in the door, when he is invited in to dwell in the King's presence. and share with Him in all the glory of His royal life?"

don quijote in the hallway

Some of my more unfocused students are actually - gasp - working! I found 30 copies of a comic-style version of Don Quijote de la Mancha, and I am having my kids work on translating it. We have "Chapters I - V" due tomorrow (or monday, depending on how hard they work tomorrow) and in my fourth hour - which has all but gone to pot- I have three "troublesome" young men who, after letting them sit in the hall outside, are actually accomplishing things!!!
more later, though. :)

*sigh* i just have to figure out how to reach the lunch crowd. As in, the kids that take first lunch (when my class is supposed to have second lunch) and come in halfway through class, only to sit and talk unproductively until second lunch. I've tried teaching them to fish, but I guess they're just dying of hunger without realizing it. :(

one more month or so.

Once again I have to say goodbye.

goodbyes are not easy -
along with the word comes missing

babies grow up without you
people get married without you
still others will die and graduate to the next step - yes, without you.

that is just the tip of the hard part of leaving a place that has endeared itself to me. Not so much the place - I won't mind seeing "tall" trees again, but the people.

A people so full of love and hope and spleen (erm, compassion) and hugs. . .
a people that isn't afraid to laugh and make jokes at your expense because they think you "fit," ...
a people with skin so beautiful, hair so long, and eyes so piercing that you will never forget, even if all their faces blend into one beautiful face searching for truth...
a people - though not all are navajo - that reaches out to your soul, begging you to stay forever and be part of them...
a people - rather, an extension of His Body - that acts much as arms extended in a perpetual physical hug - that cares about your soul, your wellbeing, and the importance of hugs...
a people - that i have grown to love: black hair, pink hair, blue and green hair, blonde hair, brown hair, red hair, beards, and clean-shaven: I will miss you.

And someday, be it a year from now or in eternity, we will - let me repeat that - we will - meet again. I pray that it may be in the same place.
Until then, I will continue to savor every single moment I am given with you all.
Starting last August.

dirt

This may sound weird, but.....

i am excited to see dirt. as in, soil.