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Today is the first day of a new year, according to the calendar. This past year God has done so much in the lives of my little family - given us a job, allowed that same job to be taken away, and given us a new little one to teach all we know about Him, His love, and His world. (Not) coincidentally, my high school  senior class verse "just happened" to be Proverbs 3:5-6,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

I never realized in high school how much that verse would come into play in my life. This year I might actually be able to share a few more bits and pieces about all that God has allowed into my life and the lives of my two babies and my sweet husband while attempting to put that verse into play. Several moves, many part time jobs, gaining various certifications, missing out on important family events because of money, and safely picking up two beautiful, healthy babies from the Stork Store...

In church this morning we sang the Getty's song "By Faith," and I realized just how very, very much the past few months that song has been our life. If the Israelites can set up odd rock formations to remind them of God's provision, I can at least write a few blog posts until I have time to write down physical reminders in my Bible between trips to the potty and feeding a toddler fighting growth spurts... So be prepared to hear how many are the mercies of my God!

Egg hair

This morning at breakfast, Bear had a fuzzy in her hair. I pulled it out and showed her. She then used her eggy little hands to straighten her hair like I did, giggling the whole time. I wiped her hair off with a wet wipe, and she "fixed" her hair with a huge grin. I let her laugh, and laughed with her as I just wiped off her hands so she could tidy her mane without leaving egg remains on her head.

This is parenthood, not making a big deal of the little things like sticky hands. Is it easy? Nope. But when your kiddo is punchy and trying to help you out, it's okay if things get messy. Your little one is learning big people things from you - not just how to do chores, but flexibility, grace, and lightheartedness.

blessing #8 - a new body

went to church at South Dade today - it was good :) they used to be about the size of West Cannon but after hurrican Andrew hit lost a lot of people (because of the damage to the area, etc). but anyways.... definitely super solid, super loving group. I got to hang out with some kids while their parents were at choir practice :)
also, studied some of how Philippians 1:9-11 (Paul's prayer for abounding love) relates to I Corinthians 13 and I John 4:7+ ... pretty neat.
And David's here now - we just ran to Walmart to pick up some groceries. He's staying with the pastor for now, and they invited us over for dinner with their kids / grandkids :)  good fellowship, sweet people. Pull-apart biscuits and stew :)

God is good.

oda a la paloma (see Solomon's letters - ch. 2)

***************************************************por Amanda E. Johnson  12/4/2010


i am a dove:
fragile, pure, silent.

no one can see me where i hide
(hiding in the cracks, on the unseen ledges-
ledges so high off the ground
no evil can find me)
and i feel safe.

everything outside my little home
(on the other side of my cliff)
is frightening,
frightens me
and keeps me inside
safe, and warm.

i venture out for food
(very briefly, but oh, so hungry am i)
and a bit of fresh air.
satiated,
i arrive back in my crevice,
safe.
nothing can harm me if i do not move
and nothing can make me move
from the safest place in the world.


***
something startles me
(it is not quiet any more)
and i begin to shiver
quietly, though
i shiver quietly  and listen
with trepidation
for whatever has broken my solitude.

a knocking
and a voice
gently, gently rapping
on the outside of my haven.

i take a curious step
(toward the entrance of my dwelling)
and am startled when a flash
(of rainbow color)
strikes my eye
and i look downward to see its origin-
caught by the sun, a bright diamond
with so many facets
has attached itself to my breast.

the knocking continues.
as i take another step closer
(closer to the outside world)
several more flashing jewels
appear on my soft feathers,
encrusting them with beauty.

by the time I reach the ledge
i am covered
(not a single feather is left on its own)
in jewels so bright that rainbows dance
with every step i take.

i can finally hear the words
(an not just knocking)
as they are being spoken -
a man is speaking,
with gentle tones and a soft voice.

"come out,"
says he.
"it's beautiful out here.
there is no more winter,
no more rain,
no harsh winds to buffet you.
(it is spring,
after all - everything is so very new!)
Come out,
my darling,
my love.

let me see your face,
for it has been hidden so long.

let me hear your voice:
i am sure it is the one i have always heard in my dreams.

come out, my love.

let me see you,
let me hear you,
and come with me.

come out."

with each loving word spoken
i barely notice what happens next:

a hand comes closer
(and closer)
and pauses at the very edge of the cliff.

when he stops talking
i look up,
up,
(up into his face)
and see the truth of his words
is true.

one more step -
no, two -
and i am in his palm,
sparkling, quivering and timid.

"behold, you are beautiful,
so beautiful,
my love!"
(his voice echoes
through my hollow bones
and the shaking stops.)

i realize he has spoken the truth,
and spoken my beauty into existence.

calmly,
quietly,
i rest in his hand,
listening for his voice,
awakened by beauty-
of the spring,
of new life,
of a love so true,
and of my own newly discovered beauty,
for the first time in my life
i begin to sing.

the kite runner -

This weekend I watched the movie "The Kite Runner" (based on the book). The Kite Runner is one of Those Movies that evokes all 1200 possible female emotions. It is about a boy growing up in Afghanistan who is friends with a boy from lower-society, and their friendship that undergoes quite a bit. That's all I am going to write about it, actually, because until you have seen it for yourself, anything I write here will be a spoiler and might ruin the movie for you. (Or read the book). 

So... this is a recommendation - especially if you are American! - to go read the book/watch the movie. It's PG-13, and has its reasons for being rated so, so beware, but it is an excellent, excellent story, and has some very beautiful cinematic scenage. 

the art i see in you

the art I see in you

(not the art that is your body)

makes me cry.

(not because i’m sad but…)

it’s so beautiful
to see a grown boy love
from deep inside.

that is art.


written sometime around the turn of the millennium.
© Amanda E Johnson

My Bucket List of Resolutions as a 20-something:

My Bucket List of Resolutions as a 20-something:

short term: years 25 to 30, ‘Til He Returns / or Calls Me Home:

GOALS FOR MY 25^TH THROUGH 30^TH YEARS (in no particular order)

• Delight in my Lord daily, not getting discouraged when I fail or things don’t “go my way.”

I’ve learned a lot this past year already about the importance of finding my delight solely in Him; surrounding myself with believers, and immersing myself in His word only adds to the beauty I see in His sacrificial, gracious love us-ward.

• Learn OT Greek

On my way, actually! I found a book on sale, and I’ve got the alphabeta down ;) and can read words… Now, on to grammar, vocabulary, and everything else!

• Keep praying for and writing to Ol’ Whoever He May Be, and wait patiently for the Lord to smack him upside the head and get his booty over here… I mean, Wait on the Lord for His choice. ;)

Since at least elementary school I’ve wanted to get married, like most females, but it wasn’t until high school that I realized I need to be praying for him, even if I have no idea he is, or if I am even one of those that “end up married.” Praying for him helps keep my heart in check, and my eyes on the one who made me as the true Lover of my face. Saving my kisses for him also keeps my mind away from dwellation on things of the flesh.

• Start an actual group for people (not just women) to learn to crochet: as ministry, outreach, and fellowship: Check

God has blessed my desire and passion with this already, and the Tabitha Club has been a lot of fun and a great way to connect with women of all ages! I’ve also been able to teach several people the basics of crochet!

• See the Grand Canyon - again: Check.

I went on a day trip this spring (2009) after spending the night in Flagstaff at a coworker’s house, and it was amazing. Next time, though, I am taking someone with me. Big things like that are much better shared!

• Lose 40 lbs.

I’ve somehow made ten disappear, but I would like the rest to just leave, as well.

• Get a master's degree and my teacher’s certificate

Some people may not hold much to getting online degrees, but this is the path I’ve chosen (for now), and I’m on my way to getting it done! I’m single, 25, and the only thing tying me down is the need to get a teaching certificate so I can get an actual Teaching Job wherever He can best use me!

• Run a marathon. Or something similar to a long distance

This will help me beat my body into submission, because I don’t want to be a pear on my 30^th birthday. Hehe.

• Shoot something besides skeet

I want to get a hunter’s license and shoot something. And say “I shot a something” and not just be telling tall tales. I am working on getting into a hunter’s safety class to get this one started J

• Write a book

I’ve started numerous books, but for some reason cannot get past the first few chapters. Disciplining myself with daily and weekly writing goals will help me hone my writing skills. Hence, part of why I blog…

• Be a better listener and a better questioner

I want to learn how to listen better because so many people come to me for advice (yikes!) and yet I still somehow let myself get distracted by the things of this world rather then dropping what I deem necessary to give myself to the people that trust me with their souls. I also want to learn to be better at asking questions that make sense, especially if no one else is doing the asking in a group of people.

• Spoil my nieces and nephews

…But in a good way. I want to use the time God’s given me to bear my friends’ burdens, helping out where I can and when I can, and encouraging them in being the best mums and dads they can. Even though I’m not a parent, I can ease their burdens by listening, visiting, sending packages, and washing dishes.

• Be more consistent with my written correspondence

I enjoy writing letters and notes to people, but so often I let other things get in the way; Getting things in the mail besides bills can be the highlight of a terrible day, and I love being able to be a tiny part of a smile on someone’s face. J I can understand Paul when he said, “I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; that is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.”

• Memorize the book of Romans.

I’m a little more than 1/32 done! I started awhile ago, but left off before I went to North Dakota

• Study Navajo and Arabic, and keep up with my Spanish and Russian

I love languages, and how they work; I have a few books I would love to work on while I “have time,” I would like to learn at least the basics – phonics, grammatical structure,

• Go to Turkmenistan, or at least South America

I might not make it to Central Asia (monetarily) in five years, but eventually I would love to go there. Call me nuts, but ever since I did my 10/40 window project on that country in my senior year of high school, that country has held a special place in my heart. That is also part of why I took Russian…
And if an opportunity arises, I’d love to go to a country in SA or CA, specifically somewhere in the Andes where there are indigenous peoples. We could crochet together.

• Have my “own place” again…

There’s nothing wrong with living at home, but it’s harder to have people over spontaneously to feed them or randomly workout, or just to have secret conversations about all things under the sun,… Basically, I just want my own place for ministry purposes, and a place to keep books

• Go to a few more National Parks – namely, Yellowstone, Glacier, Arches, and revisit Theodore Roosevelt (North and South Units!) And also perhaps visit Alaska.

I love that God put so much detail into the world He formed, and the few national parks I’ve been to have opened my eyes to how Big He is. I also just miss the sky.

• Make my own version of Edwards’ Resolutions: hence, this list.

He was younger than I when he resolved such-and-such, and having something in writing will keep me accountable. Also, anyone reading this must needs feel freely obligated to ask me how things are progressing in the various bullets J

oh how fun.

"Are you going skinny dipping tonight, Miss Johnson?" asks one of my students from a bus window (as I'm walking to my car after school - could I fit any more adjectives in this sentence? Probably.)
"Not tonight, XXXXXX, I have to ... um.... do laundry," I reply.

Just another tidbit of my life.



and no, I have not converted to nudism. We were working on a weekly schedule - conjugating the verb "ir" (meaning "to go")- in groups and a few of my girls wanted to go above and beyond... so they asked me how to say "crash a baby shower" and "go skinny dipping."

and I gave my 110% and found it for them on www.wordreference.com

so now they call me "teacher-foo[l]"(another story) and ask me how skinny dipping is / if I'm going.

I am falling in love with these young'uns...
which makes whatever decision is "coming up" even harder. Along with multitudinous other things. So I'm letting God teach me how to listen.
at least, I'm trying.
it is SO not easy all the time, though.