blessing #6 - climate change

methinks I need to update more often, because then i might have more quality posts / at least post more than once a month.
i am moving to a wee bit south of miami, and looking forward to a change of pace . . . Going to be teaching at a Christian school down there - 5th grade!  Open to all of your advices!

side note - g'bye party at Crystie Long's this Sunday evening after church. come from wherever you are. and if you can't come ..
GET SKYPE. so we can talk once i'm in FLORIDA. craziness.

God is good.

I finished my huge portfolio, so other than discussion questions, I am DONE with classes. (other than student teaching, too, i guess).

it CRAZY-STORMED here tonight. as in, the rain was so loud I could barely hear the (slightly-old) news about the heartbreaks in Norway. it's amazing how big God is. He can create just by speaking. He can stop things just by speaking ... yet He humbled Himself to take my place, my punishment!

What a wonderful saviour!

My Bucket List of Resolutions as a 20-something:

My Bucket List of Resolutions as a 20-something:

short term: years 25 to 30, ‘Til He Returns / or Calls Me Home:

GOALS FOR MY 25^TH THROUGH 30^TH YEARS (in no particular order)

• Delight in my Lord daily, not getting discouraged when I fail or things don’t “go my way.”

I’ve learned a lot this past year already about the importance of finding my delight solely in Him; surrounding myself with believers, and immersing myself in His word only adds to the beauty I see in His sacrificial, gracious love us-ward.

• Learn OT Greek

On my way, actually! I found a book on sale, and I’ve got the alphabeta down ;) and can read words… Now, on to grammar, vocabulary, and everything else!

• Keep praying for and writing to Ol’ Whoever He May Be, and wait patiently for the Lord to smack him upside the head and get his booty over here… I mean, Wait on the Lord for His choice. ;)

Since at least elementary school I’ve wanted to get married, like most females, but it wasn’t until high school that I realized I need to be praying for him, even if I have no idea he is, or if I am even one of those that “end up married.” Praying for him helps keep my heart in check, and my eyes on the one who made me as the true Lover of my face. Saving my kisses for him also keeps my mind away from dwellation on things of the flesh.

• Start an actual group for people (not just women) to learn to crochet: as ministry, outreach, and fellowship: Check

God has blessed my desire and passion with this already, and the Tabitha Club has been a lot of fun and a great way to connect with women of all ages! I’ve also been able to teach several people the basics of crochet!

• See the Grand Canyon - again: Check.

I went on a day trip this spring (2009) after spending the night in Flagstaff at a coworker’s house, and it was amazing. Next time, though, I am taking someone with me. Big things like that are much better shared!

• Lose 40 lbs.

I’ve somehow made ten disappear, but I would like the rest to just leave, as well.

• Get a master's degree and my teacher’s certificate

Some people may not hold much to getting online degrees, but this is the path I’ve chosen (for now), and I’m on my way to getting it done! I’m single, 25, and the only thing tying me down is the need to get a teaching certificate so I can get an actual Teaching Job wherever He can best use me!

• Run a marathon. Or something similar to a long distance

This will help me beat my body into submission, because I don’t want to be a pear on my 30^th birthday. Hehe.

• Shoot something besides skeet

I want to get a hunter’s license and shoot something. And say “I shot a something” and not just be telling tall tales. I am working on getting into a hunter’s safety class to get this one started J

• Write a book

I’ve started numerous books, but for some reason cannot get past the first few chapters. Disciplining myself with daily and weekly writing goals will help me hone my writing skills. Hence, part of why I blog…

• Be a better listener and a better questioner

I want to learn how to listen better because so many people come to me for advice (yikes!) and yet I still somehow let myself get distracted by the things of this world rather then dropping what I deem necessary to give myself to the people that trust me with their souls. I also want to learn to be better at asking questions that make sense, especially if no one else is doing the asking in a group of people.

• Spoil my nieces and nephews

…But in a good way. I want to use the time God’s given me to bear my friends’ burdens, helping out where I can and when I can, and encouraging them in being the best mums and dads they can. Even though I’m not a parent, I can ease their burdens by listening, visiting, sending packages, and washing dishes.

• Be more consistent with my written correspondence

I enjoy writing letters and notes to people, but so often I let other things get in the way; Getting things in the mail besides bills can be the highlight of a terrible day, and I love being able to be a tiny part of a smile on someone’s face. J I can understand Paul when he said, “I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; that is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.”

• Memorize the book of Romans.

I’m a little more than 1/32 done! I started awhile ago, but left off before I went to North Dakota

• Study Navajo and Arabic, and keep up with my Spanish and Russian

I love languages, and how they work; I have a few books I would love to work on while I “have time,” I would like to learn at least the basics – phonics, grammatical structure,

• Go to Turkmenistan, or at least South America

I might not make it to Central Asia (monetarily) in five years, but eventually I would love to go there. Call me nuts, but ever since I did my 10/40 window project on that country in my senior year of high school, that country has held a special place in my heart. That is also part of why I took Russian…
And if an opportunity arises, I’d love to go to a country in SA or CA, specifically somewhere in the Andes where there are indigenous peoples. We could crochet together.

• Have my “own place” again…

There’s nothing wrong with living at home, but it’s harder to have people over spontaneously to feed them or randomly workout, or just to have secret conversations about all things under the sun,… Basically, I just want my own place for ministry purposes, and a place to keep books

• Go to a few more National Parks – namely, Yellowstone, Glacier, Arches, and revisit Theodore Roosevelt (North and South Units!) And also perhaps visit Alaska.

I love that God put so much detail into the world He formed, and the few national parks I’ve been to have opened my eyes to how Big He is. I also just miss the sky.

• Make my own version of Edwards’ Resolutions: hence, this list.

He was younger than I when he resolved such-and-such, and having something in writing will keep me accountable. Also, anyone reading this must needs feel freely obligated to ask me how things are progressing in the various bullets J

closer than

There is a friend that is closer than a brother...

.

I was reminded of that this weekend. God allowed me to visit my former roomate and her husband (with another former roomate) in Highland, Indiana. It was one of the most incredible snippets of time I have experienced of late as we reminisced about old tymes, made new memories, and spent countless seconds conversing and truly fellowshiping over free energy drinks and Pepsi.

.

No, seriously. God has blessed me with many friends, but a precious number of them are very balmacious to my soul.
.
The people I can spill "everything" to without fear or apprehension of rejection...
Those who have seen the inner workings of the heart when I couldn't see it myself, ...

and those who love me in spite of who I still am growing into, in spite of my failures or ridiculousness.
.
God has given me such people, and this weekend was one of the most refreshing I have had in quite a long time.
.

The conversations we had were full of grace and truth, and especially of things we need to hear on a daily basis. (Is there a better word for basis?) It is SO GOOD to have friends that are not afraid to talk about you in front of you ;) and who seek edification at every turn.

.

I can only pray that I am such a friend to them as well.

.

Thanks, y'alls!

i kissed a b- i mean, a boy kissed me!

now, i've never been one to kiss and tell, but... i've never even been one to KISS. so tonight when this cutie kissed me, i let it sink in. literally. I mean, i know I said i was going to wait until my wedding day to kiss, but... I couldn't resist! And plus, it doesn't count...
see, Elisha and I have been friends for some time now. Since last October, I think. He's 4 now, so I guess it's okay. Anyways, I made the mistake of showing him that red frosting (from Jeff's Christmas Oreos) + lips = bright red, awesome, kissable lips. hahaha. So he went around kissing people.... or at least, trying to kiss them. He gave me a big, juicy one on my cheek. and yes, it was with red frosting. hehe.

and then he went for Rob, and Casey, and Betsy, and "Uncle Jeff," and anyone else in the room. (we were hanging at Rob's for foodage after a very, very, very windy/dusty day-trip to Canyon de Chelley(pronounced Shay).

Speaking on CDC, it was amazing. Jeff, Betsy (no Ray), Sara (no Paul, but yes Elisha and Keira), Casey, Rob, Rachel (and Alvia), and Jesse and I all went. We took Jeff's truck - me and all the guys!! - and Betsy's yellow... thing. it was a tight fit, but it was worth it :) The ride over was great fun - I drove my car to Window Rock with Casey and Jesse, and then we met everyone in the McDonald's parking lot. Jesse and Casey and Elisha kinder dozed off for awhile on the way over to the Canyon / National Monument or whatever you want to call it, but Rob, Jeff, and I stayed awake the whole time. We went to about two overlooks, and then decided to forego the rest of them because it was inCREDIBLY windy and dusty, and just went straight to the big hike. I stayed with Sara and Betsy and Keira for half of the way down - they were pushing K in the stroller, but gave up (sad) after awhile, so I traipsed to the bottom of the Canyon and met up with a huge duststorm as I crossed the bridge to see some Anasazi (?) ruins, a bathroom, and the rest of the peoples. Elisha was a bit of a slave driver on the way back, so we made it to the top in record time. After battling the dust blowing at us... I was the only one dumb enough to have my legs showing - I wore capris - and I got a few little cuts on my legs from something or other that blew into me in the fray.
But it was really, really pretty. No, that's not the word i want. *Something just blew off something outside. I heard a thumpdbd. Like maybe Forster's tv dish? hmm.... It's realllly windy. I hope my dish stays up.
It was - spectabulous. Although my earholes are full of dirt. I need to wash them out. Mayhaps I shall do that now, while I am i the middle of posting this. Since it keeps "autosaving." I need to write all this and more - much, much, much more! - in my journal, which has been neglected due to blogger and xanga and trying to teach and take classes and make and keep friends,...
okay, time to wash my hair - i mean, turn it to mud and then wash the mud out, and think about things. and then post some more more more. :) i promise you, if you read ALL of this, it will... be good for you. and your reading / proofreading skills.

okay, next day. got done from school, went to tutoring, came home, made moon toast. it is now Monday evening.
Yesterday after we finished hiking, we drove over to Spider Rock - also in the same "park."
Apparently this is where lots of commercials have taken place. For example, helicoptering a jeep to the top of Spider Rock - which is like this huge double-spire formation. it was realllly cool, and there were horses and cowses and sheep foraging at the bottom.
I ran around with Keira and Elisha, being silly. It was greeaaat fuun!
and then we got back in the vehicles and drove over to Rob's house. . . I sat in the middle front again, between Jeff and Jesse. Jesse dozed off, as did Elisha and Casey, and Jeff let me shift for him since I was practically sitting on the gearstick -thing. It wasn't that easy shifting with mainly my left hand, but I double-handed it some of the time, and I only got it out of gear once towards the beginning. hahaha.... it was fun, though. Especially since the last time I drove a stick was in Manistee like 10 or so years ago. The roads were passable - they seemed a lot like Betsy's road, and apparently were also similar to the road to Jeff's house. That is to say, the mud was dried out and there were some sweet tire ruts and all that. which made it fun to ride belted tightly next to Jeff and Jesse so I wouldn't fly away from the bumps haha.
Jeff and I discussed the various bears of the woods - i guess he has an altimeter or something and we were at like 8,000 feet :) And I asked him - since we were driving past some beautiful Ponderosas - what kind of fauna lived up this high. I heard a few people in the back say "grizzly," and then Jeff mentioned like all the varieties of bears available - black bear, brown bear, grizzly, polar (i was like, what>! ), panda (so we can eat them)... and we drove past a puddle and talked about going fishing. It was fun :)
but we got to Rob's place and had sammiches and fellowship and i heard that the Spartans won, (yey!) and then we had ice cream and I snuck into the kitchen and did the dishes. yes!
...Except jeff came in and almost gave me away when he asked "What are you doing the dishes?" so I shushed him and he whispered the same question-statement and ran away, hehehe. I love having people's dishes to wash! :) *sigh.... someday. Abba?

Aaaaand now it is Tuesday. here are some more updaters:
Last Sunday (a week ago) I went to the ER after Edge because my neck was bugging me and i've been having headaches; I got some Xrays, and the xray technician, whose name is dave, was a little friendly... he told me about his ex wife, whose name is Mandy, and his 8-year old daughter(or maybe it is she who is the Mandy), who lives near Gallup (hence his reason for "Sticking around." And after he took my xrays and showed me how straight my vertebrae were (there was barely any curve!) *result of whiplash = sprained neck, for me, I guess. ... He wheeled me back to the exam room and basically asked me out. It's an open-invitation - "You're an incredibly beautiful woman; any time you're in town and maybe want to see a movie or something, ...." sure, it was flattering and all, but yipes! gleeps! he practically saw me naked! and i have no idea who he is....

So I went into Albuquerque (there's no "r" after the first "U!") this past Friday to get a root canal... I made it, barely - i had to drop off my grades at school, and stop in to pick up a PT recommendation from Gallup, but i made it!! only 10 or so minutes "late." *sigh* I got there and the office was all dark and stuff, and apparently they are really into being Asian. the room they stuck me in had a huge window-door and there was a creek outside with bamboo growing, and rocks, and....pigeons. hahahahahaha. so he gave me like 20 shots of something to numb my right side of my face, and i started shaking but that got better eventually. and he drilled around in my tooth for a bit and it was great fun. and it smelled like burnt hair. which is probably more to say, burnt tooth. and he filled my tooth with putty of some sort, wrote three incredibly messy prescriptions, and sent me on my way. I went to wal-greens and got some drugs, and took them, and then went to target to get some yogurt (and a scarf!) to go with the antibiotics. then I drove around until I found my hotel - a Days Inn... very posh. king sized bed!. et cetera.
I tried calling Jessica and Jeff and Betsy to see if they were still going to the hockey game, but I couldn't get a hold of anyone. So... I decided to risk it. I packed my crochet in my purse in case I couldn't find them, and drove 40 minutes to Rio Rancho. Luckily, the ice wasn't frozen, so instead of being late, I was 40 or more minutes early, and even better, I found Jeff / Jessica / Rachel right away! Jeff moved over so I could sit next to Jessica, but he didn't have to. Silly boy. We lost, but the ref totally stole 2 of our goals (and by "we" i mean the scorpions. they were playing arizona, haha). It was a pretty good games besides the referee.....
after the game we met up at some gas station - after waiting for people to leave the parking lot, that is. ha! - and Jeff showed me the road "back" to ABQ. . . . which apparently needs a number/name sign. because i failed to turn where i should have, ... Good thing I had a map. ABQ is so confusing at night. It's almost as confusing in the daytime, but I drove around a lot on Saturday, so things are a.... smidgen more clear now. The mountain is "east," got it. :)

Saturday I drove around town and bought stuff, and had starbucks (my new drink is the "Espresso Truffle." which btw is amaaaazing and you need to try it!) and then attempted to eat some food which was hard because my tooth is really sharp right now so drinking was the worst, and i kept cutting my tongue. owww. I think it's a little wee bit better now, though, because either it's scarred over, or it's wearing down. yipes. So I got back on the road, finally,... and made it back a little before 11. After stoppin in Gallup to use the bathroom slash wake up.
And I got to go to B&N while in ABQ, and before i went in the store, one of thesongs from the new BSS CD (Anti-Meridian) was on the RADIO - "starlings." It's a great reminder of how incredibly much God cares for us, because of his care for the silly little birds of the earth.
here are the lyrics .... and if you want to hear the song for yourself (it's incredible: ) email me!


THE OFFICIAL STARLING LYRICS(taken from the official message board) ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Filthy bird laying in our yard
four chambered heart never beat so hard
Dad said she was almost gone,
upside down out on our lawn.
And I could hold her in a shoe box,
if she heals she could be mine.
And if I cannot save her spirit,
dad says I should break her spine.
Shaking, brilliant, silver-black wings,
Jesus Christ, what prayers these tears sing.

Chorus
Wear your hearts out on your sleeves for
starlings... starlings.
Of the least of all of these,
are starlings... starlings.

Two years pass, I pumped the chamber,
full of air to shoot the birds.
Harmless game to hit them slightly,
to scare them off, in other words.
Starling falling to her death,
piercing copper steals her breath.
See the flutter in her breast,
starving babies in her nest.
Raise their souls up to the sky,
why must helpless creatures die?

Chorus

Bridge
Every breath has sacred weight,
every life has some design.
Can we kill and also save,
speak of life,
while digging graves?

Chorus








also, yesterday marty was playing around in 4th hour and totally ran into the wall... my 7th hour kids discovered a huge hole. ooooops. So i told him to talk to the peeps in the office about it. *sigh* poor kid.

this whole decision-thing coming up is kinda freaking me out. so... i shall not freak. I am going to trust. it's like bittersweet Ghiradelli - you want to finish it, you don't want to finish it, but you love the savoryness of the process.

tests and babies.

So I haven't had internet at my trailer for almost a week. Which is not good considering I have two huge tests to study for, and I can't email myself my lessons to the school computer to print off.... Stinky.
So we spent the majority of the week working on our salt dough maps. They actually are turning out better than I expected, and I think the kids actually possibly enjoyed them.

As far as Spanish, though, I'm pretty sure I am a terrible teacher. I am going to try and tie in the vocab we are learning somehow with the inauguration on Tuesday. At least, maybe having them read about dicatators and presidents of various countries we are studying, but in Spanish. and maybe writing a bit about them.

and we need to get to estar, but I think most of them are still confused by "ser," MEH!

so these tests I am taking this coming Saturday are (1) secondary "professional knowledge" - meaning, "how to teach high schoolers" and (2) "subject knowledge" - meaning Spanish (for me.)
I am NOT looking forward to spending a Saturday morning/ afternoon taking these tests, especially since I am very doubtful as to a positive outcome. But I will rejoice, because pass or fail, my God is amazing and has somewhere in the world for me to be... as far as my "talents" go. whatever they are.

And I'm pretty sure "kids" and "languages" and "creativity" are what I am meant to be. if that makes any sense.

So right now I am trying to listen. and look for something that's out there.
and save a little money, pay my bills, crochet a ripple blanket, listen to amazing music, learn myself the piano, and plan a trip to Mexico.


And not think too much about relationships, babies, houses, and everything that everyone else seems to be getting themselves into these days.
meh! :) which is "hem" backwards, which is what I did two nights ago to two pillows, a sweater, a long-sleeved shirt, and my life.

2008 (and some smilebox)

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Sooooo much. I traveled a bajillion miles - from Michigan to North Dakota and from North Dakota to Arizona,

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to be more genuine. Which apparently some people noticed. I told a man I had fallen for him, had some good conversations with people about very real things, and sang in front of people.... Next year I resolve, hmmmm... to ..... get married? :-p

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
only like everyone. haha - Tracie and Danielle and like 15 kids at church ;)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Granny - she was close to everyone, though...

5. What countries did you visit?
Almost went to mexico. Maybe this spring, if i can get some people to go with me. hehe....
and maybe almost went to Canada (on the west side)

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A husband? Or maybe something more tangible like a job that uses my degree and doesn't require a vast amount of random certificatings...

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
-Hiking in the badlands and seeing a thorny fruit and checking it for edibility
-eating prickly pear
-crying and laughing with some of the most amazing people in the world
-"giving up" a summer to gain the most incredible summer ever
-being called "mom" and
son" by my students
-God's provision of a job, and his provision and safety with my coche

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
somehow (thanks, Abba!) landing a job that uses Spanish in a new (slightly warm) location :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't think I "failed" anything, except maybe nothing that i can think of....

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only a really weird flu or virusy thing that made me leave (unwillingly) at fifth hour, drive cautiously the three miles to my trailer, spend several hours vomiting up my insides, and sleeping until 2 in the morning...

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a keyboard that teaches you to play the piano. And several million cookies and cream ice cream cones in Medora.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My students - for turning in their letters so swiftly! Now it's up to me to make sure they get some in return...

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A few people. But I'm praying for them, and I know God is working in them.

14. Where did most of your money go?
books and pillowcases and yarn and souvenirs, haha.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my BFF Christee meeting - dating - and getting engaged to - an amazing man
two of my really good friends having babies
several more of my friends getting married or pregnant
getting a job in God's wonderful timing

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
The Medora Musical, ha ha ha ha.... I mean, really. :) Or maybe the "Medora" song. One Voice. Mylo Hatzenbuhler. The Motivator (haha). Watching Monk and all manner of television at the PP. Also, moustache bingo, which i know is not a song - but it IS usually accompanied by the music of laughter (gag).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder?
happier

ii. Thinner or fatter?
Less muscly, but not really "Fatter."

iii. Richer or poorer?
More able to pay my loans.... if that makes sense...

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
TAWG. Spending more time in the Word

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spent time by myself. Even though that wasn't that much...

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with a ton of crazy and wonderful cousins.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
my mither

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Kinda. More like I fell in like with the idea of a person. Or two...

23. How many one-night stands?
I went out at 1 in the morning to watch a meteor shower. No one went with me, and it was beautiful. But to answer the question, none.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Crossing Jordan (reruns) and the Office. hehe.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I am not a hater. I hug.

26. What was the best book you read?
some of them by Grace Livingston Hill

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mylo Hatzenbuhler (haha) and James Newton Howard

28. What did you want and get?
to see my family for Christmas :) :)

29. What did you want and not get?
a man. Well, kinda. That's weird.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't see very many. We just watched Wall-E. Cute! Batman: Dark Knight and Australia were both amazing. I think that was the extent of my filmage. Was Ratatouille this year?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I .... something lame like watch tv and talk to people on the phone. I had a few people over the day after and we looked at some rocks I found. ...

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having a Starbucks closer than 2 hours away. bua ha ha...

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Pretending to dress like a grown-up professional-yet-sexy woman?? ha.

34. What kept you sane?
crochet and text messages. :)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hugh Jackman, Jude Law, Chad Willow (ha ha - only because he is cool. I don't know, lol.) ???

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama the Llama. No, seriously. hehe.

37. Who did you miss?
My mom. Christee. Kel. Lesley. My girls (and guys) from this summer. My church people that didn't email or write to me. (seriously?! ) the people that did write to me. my brothers growing taller...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Callie and Kim and Seth... and Betsy and Jeff...

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Letting someone lead is really, really hard sometimes. But it's easier with your eyes closed, especially when the other person wants to lead. :)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"One kid dreams of fame and fortune
One kid helps to pay the rent
One could end up goin' to prison
One just might be president.

Only in america
Dreamin' in red, white, and blue
Only in america
Where we dream as big as we want to.
We all get a chance
Everybody gets to dance
Only in america.
-Brooks and Dunn"